something to lose

I’m constantly afraid
I’ll bore you.

I’m afraid I’m a terrible conversationalist and that you’ll find me shallow and vapid. I’m afraid of saying all the wrong things and scaring you away.

It’s so sweet that
you were nervous.

I was too.

I like knowing  that, you too, feel
there is something
to lose.


Azorean sunset
Sunset in the Azores 2014

Long story short:
the sun will set,
there will be dark and
silence and separation.
But sunrise,
it will come again,
and time will be yours
to master.

I remember seeing a phrase in a catalog when I was younger, etched into a bracelet, and it has stuck with me since:

“Sunrise, sister. It all comes back to this.”

I don’t know if it’s from anything specifically, a movie, book, or TV show, but it resonates with me a lot.

I always wanted to have a physical reminder of it, but haven’t actually seen it anywhere since that catalog. I also wasn’t so sure I’d want it on a bracelet anyway (I rarely wear them – let my arms be FREE), or on a t-shirt (I can’t wear the same shirt every day), or anything at all really. But it occurs to me, that something that holds so much meaning for me – and has done for years – could make a really great tattoo.

Just a thought. I love tattoos and have always wanted one.

This might not be such a bad place to start.


Selfish people


Saw this on Instagram this morning, and I swear, sometimes it’s as if Rupi Kaur has tapped into my world and knows exactly what I need. This was one of those days.

“i will tell you about selfish people. even when they know they will hurt you they walk into your life to taste you because you are the type of being they don’t want to miss out on. you are too much shine not to be felt.”

This also makes me think of pedestals and those who will try to put you on them. The only thing that can happen is to fall.

“when they realize how real this is. how much of a storm you are and it hits them. that is when the cowardice sets in. that is when the person you thought they were is replaced by the sad reality of what they are.”

I have been selfish. I think we all are sometimes. But I do not believe I have ever done this to another person. It’s not worth gambling an entire being.

“isn’t it sad and funny how people have more guts these days to undress you with their fingers than they do to pick up the phone and call.”

Who are these people that can be so bold and yet so spineless at the same time?

I have known people like this, but never seen such an apt and lyrical description.

I have so much love and adoration for Rupi Kaur and her way with words. And yet – still! – I don’t have Milk and Honey. Soon! Soon. I’ve heard such beautiful things about it; I’m really looking forward to it.

Til next time.


good things

you can’t rush the
good things.
No matter how much
you wish
you were at the point
where you could confidently
place your hand on his
and gently
——-but firmly
rub him–
already knowing every way
to make him

This was inspired by a Faith47 video piece I saw on Instagram. Check it out:


A video posted by FAITH XLVII (@faith47) on Jan 2, 2017 at 7:13am PST

(find it here, if the above isn’t working)


I don’t know what you thought this was
but it was far from love.

My midnight confession was only a fact-
a simple admission,
not a heaping of meaning on anything more
than just a good feeling.

I’m no moon-eyed school girl
looking up at you
in admiration.

I’m a grown ass woman
who doesn’t need
your validation.

I hope that you and your ego will be happy

As for me?

I’ll be just fine.


Just some things I never got to say. Some thoughts that came way too late.
I wish you all the best-
It was short, fun, and
you’re nice enough, but there’s still learning to do.
I don’t hold anything against you.
Just never forget, I’m gonna be just fine-
Already, I am.

Hell yeah! That felt good.

the choice

I wanted to kiss you –
I should have done.
But something held me back.
It was me, really, all along,
too afraid of the cleaner truth –
That forging connection
is more fearful and more
Than facing the world alone

It’s time to get out of your comfort zone, self.

Hasn’t it always been worth it before?

hide and pretend

Historically, it has been easier to hide
and pretend
that being alone
isn’t also sometimes


2016 was quite the year. I’ve come back to life a bit. I still feel though, at times, that it’s happening too slowly. I know it can’t be rushed, no matter how much I want to be open, receptive, and demonstrative now. I hope I can manage to keep the forward momentum, enough so that things keep going in the direction they seem to be.

It’s been a long time.
But I’m excited again.
And I’m nervous. So nervous!
If I can just stop overthinking.
If I can just relax and breathe.
If I can loosen up and play.
I think I could really enjoy this.
I know I could.
Get out of your head.