father’s day

Today was the first time
in a long time
I had to find a way
to explain your​ loss,
this sadness,
without-
by trying-

today was the first time
in a long time
I had to find a way
to explain your​ loss,
this sadness,
while attempting
to not
be either.

Six years of practice
and there’s still no nonchalance in death.

How do you answer
so that nobody
regrets the question?