I don’t know what you thought this was
but it was far from love.
My midnight confession was only a fact-
a simple admission,
not a heaping of meaning on anything more
than just a good feeling.
I’m no moon-eyed school girl
looking up at you
I’m a grown ass woman
who doesn’t need
I hope that you and your ego will be happy
As for me?
I’ll be just fine.
Just some things I never got to say. Some thoughts that came way too late.
I wish you all the best-
It was short, fun, and
you’re nice enough, but there’s still learning to do.
I don’t hold anything against you.
Just never forget, I’m gonna be just fine-
Already, I am.
Hell yeah! That felt good.
I wanted to kiss you –
I should have done.
But something held me back.
It was me, really, all along,
too afraid of the cleaner truth –
That forging connection
is more fearful and more
Than facing the world alone
It’s time to get out of your comfort zone, self.
Hasn’t it always been worth it before?
Historically, it has been easier to hide
that being alone
isn’t also sometimes
2016 was quite the year. I’ve come back to life a bit. I still feel though, at times, that it’s happening too slowly. I know it can’t be rushed, no matter how much I want to be open, receptive, and demonstrative now. I hope I can manage to keep the forward momentum, enough so that things keep going in the direction they seem to be.
It’s been a long time.
But I’m excited again.
And I’m nervous. So nervous!
If I can just stop overthinking.
If I can just relax and breathe.
If I can loosen up and play.
I think I could really enjoy this.
I know I could.
Get out of your head.
I wanted you to know that I was awake as you slept.
I felt you move closer and hold me,
felt you unconsciously kiss my nose,
lost somewhere deep within a dream.
We are not lovers and we never have been.
And, likely, never will be.
But I was awake while you were sleeping.
And I wanted to tell you
that I liked lying awake
next to you.
Another older one I thought I’d bring to live here.